Teaching = something to do to keep yourself busy when you are not working on research

I heard finals were canceled - the university used up all of their scantron sheets doing professor evaluations.

Hey, instead of execution, maybe this Berry guy could request 16 credits of INCO!

I go outside and think "That groundhog doesn't know what the hell he's talking about."

Why were sewers ever put in? They obviously don't work.

Liquor enforcement issued a statement that people with leap year birthdays will be arrested for drinking under the age of 84.

I think my roommate must have gotten a video called "101 Ways to Cook with Butter."

Life's not how it is in the movies. It sucks.

Why is it that I have no trouble making it to work by 6 a.m. every weekend, but it's next to impossible to make it my MWF 8 o'clock class?

The Hoover computer lab has a computer with a sign saying "Temporarily out of service." It's been there nine weeks.

Recent comment by a freshman female: "Ohmigod, like, I didn't even know they were going to, like, start a war or something!"

If there were a battle of the bands between Barbie and the Rockers and Jem, who would win?

Why was Blues Brothers 2000 released in 1998?

Don't worry. You can live without the Yell for a week. Besides, there'll will be plenty of yelling during spring break. See ya next quarter.