If you need practice navigating Court Street on Halloween, try Bentley at class change.

Regarding Women's Studies homework: "Oh jeez, time to read about how men are bad. Again."

Is it wrong on parents' weekend to tell mom and dad to meet you at the C.I. as soon as they get into town?

Something guys shouldn't say to a girlfriend: "You're so sweet. You act just like my mom - except we have sex."

Great new policy, WPA. It should work because sororities NEVER drink.

Typical Athens haircut: nudie magazines and rusted clippers.

Okay, we're in Athens now. There's no need for the cell phones. It is quite clear that you didn't get into Miami.

Pick-up line that guarantees you won't hook up at a party: "Hi, my name is Tom and i'm a jerk."

Is the mac and cheese in the dining halls supposed to be a game? If-you-can-find-the-noodles-you-can-eat-them...

What's up with going to Ping in black pants and 10 pounds of makeup. Are you going straight uptown afterwards?

Those shirts that read "It's a senior thing, you wouldn't understand" weren't cool in HIGH SCHOOL!

Thank you Power 105, those weekend traffic fatality reports get my week started off right!

Does anyone else think it's a little ironic that OU named one of it's all female dorms BUSH?

The alumni association already managed to track me down. I said I would stop in at Sera-Tec while I am in Athens for Homecoming and donate my plasma money.