Age dosen't determine happiness

by Kara Gebhart

I have a small confession. The idea of being an adult scares me.

Technically, I am an adult. But in my heart, the way I see things, I am not. As a college student, I pretend I am an adult, just as I did when I served my tea parties as a little girl. But my tea party is, once again, almost over.

I talk to adults a lot. I work at the Phonathon and I talk to them, three nights a week. At the Phonathon, students call alumni, update their records and inform them about the Fund for Ohio. And for about four hours each night I get a glimpse of their lives.

Most of these adults are content. Some have just married. Others have landed a great job. Some are eagerly expecting their first child. Some are sending their children to college. Some are enjoying retirement. These adults are living life, and, for the most part, they are happy.

But some of the adults I talk to ... they simply sound tired of life.

Some wake up every morning, desperately wishing they did not have to go to work. Some have divorced. Some wish they were divorced. Some interrupt the conversation every three seconds to tiredly yell to their children, "please be quiet while I am on the phone." They say the same thing: college was the best years of their lives.

That scares me.

Life is about choice. I have learned that the choices I make directly reflect the results. I have great expectations of my adult life. I hope I will make good choices. I do not want to become like the adults I talk to who are tired of life, who are not happy. I do not want to look back and say that college was the best years of my life. Because that would simply mean the best years of my life are almost over.

These past three years have been the best years of my life so far and I know that my last year will be the same. But I do not want it to end here. I do not want to graduate and long for these days; rather, I want to graduate and remember them with a smile. Just as these years have been better than the past, I hope my life as an adult will be better than the present.

I hope to choose the right career. I know there will be times when the last thing I want to do is crawl out of bed and head to the office. I know there will be conflicts with the people I work with. I know that sometimes I will screw up. I know that sometimes I will feel in over my head. And I know that sometimes I will feel as if I deserve more responsibility. But I want to love what I do.

I hope to wake up, excited for the day ahead. I want to make a difference with the work I do. I want my job to challenge and inspire me. I want to make enough money without sacrificing my own happiness. I want to earn the respect of my peers and the admiration of a few. I want to constantly learn and constantly better myself.

I hope to choose the right husband. I know there are going to be some tough times. I know there are going to be arguments, frustration, impatience and tears. I know I will sometimes need space, and he will need his. But I never want to tire of him, distrust him or feel as if I cannot talk to him. I never want to stop loving him.

I want to look my husband in the eyes on our 50th wedding anniversary with the same respect, admiration and love I felt on the day I promised to love him forever. I want to be excited to come home to him at the end of the day. I do not want to be simply content; rather, I want to be in love - truly and always in love. I do not want the butterflies to ever die.

I hope to choose the right time to be a mom. I know regardless of when my children are born that I will tire of being up at 2 a.m., tire of tender breasts. I will tire of tantrums and the endless struggles to get them into the bathtub. I will tire of fearing I have turned into a soccer mom, who runs from practice, to game, to appointment. I will tire of wondering where they are at 2 a.m., wishing I were only up to feed them, not waiting for them to come home. But I never want to tire of them.

I want my children to enhance my life, not interrupt it. I want to rock them to sleep while I read "Goodnight Moon." I want to play catch with them in the yard and cheer for them on the baseball field. I want to open their minds to endless possibilities, and I want them to see all the beauty I see in life. I want to send them into the world knowing that no matter what they do, they have a home to come back to with parents who will always love them.

I have a lot of wants in life, I know. But perhaps what I want most is happiness. I do not want happiness to end once I graduate college. I want to love my job, my husband and my children. I want to love my life. I want to make good choices, and when I make bad ones I only want to learn from them and move on. Don't let your choices ruin the days ahead of you. Don't let college become the best years of your life - too many have.

Gebhart, a junior magazine journalism major can be reached at kg403597.