Searching for an answer to the Snooze-Bowl

by Paul Shugar
Staff Writer

Yawn. Yet another Sunday.

How should I possibly spend the day after being worn out by that not-quite-as-bad-as-college-football-but not-quite-as-good-as-pro football XFL premier.

College basketball was my excitement Saturday, but where will I find my Sunday sports fix with no NFL football to help me waste my precious studying and reading hours?

With my History of Journalism book grinning devilishly at me from across the room I quickly turn on the TV.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The first thing I see is Chris Berman's head gleaming at me in his pre-game analysis of the Pro Bowl.

My hands fail me, and I drop the remote down behind my futon. Again I scream and dive into the dust in search of my only salvation, while Berman goes on about all the great past snooze bowls.

Wait. There is an oxymoron, because I do not think I have ever seen a great Pro Bowl.

Scores of 27-3 and 14-7 fly through my head as my hands search in vain through the dark.

The MLS may do a better job of putting on an All-Star game than the NFL, but personally, I would rather go buy a "Chuckwagon" XFL jersey than watch this game.

The NFL should give all the Pro Bowlers a free trip to Hawaii and just leave it at that, because you cannot get a good Pro Bowl.

John Madden has it right, because all you need to do is just name the players and let it go at that.

Football does not make a good all-star game because of the roughness that comes with the game.

Not one of these high-paid players wants to sacrifice his payoffs due to an injury suffered in the Snooze Bowl. These talented linemen don’t go toe to toe, all out. Instead, they do just enough to make a game out of it.

No wide receivers are going up for high balls, and if you see a slant, someone must have messed up his route and forgotten where he was.

In baseball, basketball and hockey all-star games it is talent going up against talent. Hockey can lose its rough-hitting part and still be entertaining. Seeing the stars ring up 27 pretty goals sure is fun to me.

Basketball and baseball players can still razzle-dazzle without worrying about injury, unlike football players.

Sure, no all-star games feature players going all-out. The games are only exhibitions, but the big hits and big plays are what make football what it is.

It is the reason the XFL will work. (At least they have the hits down. They have to work on throwing and catching yet.) Football is a sport of pure intensity.

It is about a linebacker hitting the quarterback hard from the blindside, or a safety making a last ditch hit on a running back breaking for the endzone.

It is not about people doing half their job. Keep that off television. It scares me more than the XFL’s "He Hate Me" does.

- Shugar, a sophomore journalism major, did find the batteries to his remote, but then had to spend most of his Sunday reading history since the NHL All-Star game was over. Send him an e-mail him at ps198099.