Ditch the cards and flowers Feb. 14

A Different Drummer

by Gail Cetnar

Valentine's Day is quite possibly the most unromantic day of the year.

My best friend once declared that romance is dead. He wasn't being bitter or pessimistic. He simply didn't see the sentiment in what most people would consider romantic.

And I tend to agree that flowers, chocolates, mushy greeting cards and candlelit dinners aren't romantic; they're expected. Valentine's Day turns the expression of love into a chore. Gift-giving on this holiday is something on the to-do list to keep your significant other from becoming insecure and questioning your true feelings.

Feb. 14 is supposed to be about love and tenderness and happily-ever-after. It's supposed to be the one special day of the year that you can show people just how much they mean to you.

But how do we do that on every other day? Just what exactly is romance, anyway?

To me, being romantic is surprising someone by saying or doing something that shows that person you really care. The most sensitive things are not intended to be romantic, unlike all those cards with corny poems written by someone else.

Romance is simple and pure and spontaneous. It's all those little things you share with someone in everyday life that come straight from the heart.

Last spring, on a whim, I drove to the house of a guy I was dating and said we were going for a ride to Stroud's Run. So many stars sparkled in the night sky that I couldn't help but insist he share it with me.

The sky was too breathtaking to miss and too lovely to appreciate alone. And he was the one person I wanted to share it with.

It was an exhilarating night. I wasn't thinking about impressing him or about how the stars would woo him into falling in love with me. It was just beautiful, and he had to see it.

That was romantic. I'll remember that long after I've forgotten about the flowers Joe Shmoe gave me. The time one boyfriend picked a daisy for me at soccer practice was more romantic than the rose another boyfriend gave me at Homecoming.

Stargazing can be a bit cliched as far as romantic experiences go, but think about other romantic experiences you've had (or wished you've had).

Think about the time you woke up to discover that your boyfriend was watching you sleep. Think about the time your girlfriend gave you the mock Monet she'd painted in art class because she knew you'd appreciate it more than anyone else. Think about how her face lights up when you walk into the room.

How about the time he quit smoking because you hated it? Or how he said he never would have realized how talented he was if you hadn't kept encouraging him? The time you stayed up all night coaching her for her history test?

Remember how you felt when you realized he kept the ancient ticket stub from your first movie in his wallet? Doesn't it make you feel all tingly knowing that she sleeps with one of your T-shirts because it smells like you?

These are the things people really appreciate: the things that are genuine and heartfelt and sentimental. We don't need flowers and heart-shaped pendants to remind us of these things. Teddy bears and roses are a sham. If someone loves you, he'll show it every day, not just on Feb. 14.

**Cetnar, a junior journalism major, promises this is her last column involving Valentine's Day. Send her an e-mail her at gail20@frognet.net.**