The Olympics knocked me off the wagon

by Paul Shugar
Staff Writer

"Hi, my name is Paul."

"Hi Paul!"

"And I am a curlaholic." (Whimper, tear).

I know there are only a few, but I know they are out there. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am one of few who love curling. I will have to start going to CA (curlers anonymous) soon. Instead of seeing one single curling tilt I am continually denied by Bob Costas and sappy "Torch Reflections."

Somebody hold me.

So in between pre-recorded snippets of other events, I am sure I might see some ice bowling. I need something to cut in between the figure skating technical shows where they just repeat the same show.

Quick question, why do people beg to watch a sport where they repeat the same routines, do the same tricks and bore their audience to sleep? I know everybody is curious about who can hit the triple lutz and who will fall, but come on people.

I once slipped down the stairs, did a quadruple sow cow and still stuck the landing. I can hear Michelle Kwan saying “big deal” right now, but could you do one and not spill the drink you were holding, Kwan? I thought not.

I am just doomed to the life of any curling junky during the Olympics. Late nights of chugging Mountain Dew hoping to catch curling sometime between Howard Stern and amazing infomercials.

I accidentally stumbled upon the sport trying to escape the drone of Costas and checked out Canadian Broadcasting Company. In Canada they do their Olympic coverage right. Twenty-four/seven coverage of the Olympics is all the network shows.

There I found complete curling coverage along with events shown (gasp) in their entirety. There I developed a love for a game.

I found curling near my hometown in a hidden rink located in Bowling Green’s campus ice arena.

My friends and I put together a team and decided to check it out. I mean, how hard could it be just chucking a stone and trying to hit the center — shuffleboard on ice, and we get free team T-shirts. Curling had me at hello.

Proudly sporting our "We are hockey players playing curling today" shirts we faced off for a first match with the "Rolling Stones."

They stoned us, badly.

Despite this terrible loss it started my obsession with curling that I carry with me today. I admit I can do a few tricky things with the stone now, but the sport is not easy.

Those guys in the Olympics do not miss, it is exciting, and there is a lot of skill on display. But people would rather see about 10 people triple lutz over and over again. I will just have to get support through curling Web sites, and posting angry messages on fellow curling message boards.

So curse you Costas and a hex upon you and NBC for stealing my curling from me. But still, Bob, I really hope you guys will reconsider your programming and kindly give us CA members a little rock chucking.

I know all of us would like to get back off the wagon, so come on Bob, let’s get stoned man.

 

-Shugar is a junior journalism major who asks people to remember that getting stoned is a technical curling term. Send him an e-mail with CA support at Azucar2442@hotmail.com.