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Forgotten Golden Globe Winnersby Adam Koehler Billed by unofficial host Dick Clark as "unscripted, unrehearsed and unforgettable," the 58th annual Golden Globe Awards was partially unscripted, totally unrehearsed and mostly forgettable. Choosing Dick Clark to "host" the event made the ceremony harder than usual to stomach, but the awards were really what mattered on this special night. Nominees for all the "Best of…" categories are the basis for the Golden Globes, but some awards are left unmentioned. The "What we really care about" awards for the Golden Globes. Best Dick Clark Moment AwardThis was a real toss-up. Clark's motioning to Elizabeth Taylor as to where the "unscripted" script was while she was haphazardly presenting the Best Drama Film award had some real comedic value to it. but the winning moment goes to Clark for his response to George Clooney's "the audience members are all drunk" comment. Clark chastised Clooney for the remark, only to show the audience that Clooney himself might have had one too many. Clooney deserves partial credit, as his quip was the funniest thing said all night and made that moment a virtual lock for an award. Best Acceptance Speech AwardAs with every awards ceremony, it was practically guaranteed that there would be some very-memorable-bordering-on-painful-to-watch acceptance speeches. When accepting the award for Best Male Actor in a Comedy, George Clooney put himself in the running for this award by sarcastically saying it was a no-brainer he got picked over the likes of Jim Carrey, John Cusack, Robert DeNiro and Mel Gibson. But Renee Zellweger sweeps the honor after running out of the bathroom when her name was called for Best Female Actor in a Comedy. She held up the show for a good two minutes. Worst New Look AwardTom Hanks takes the gold here as a result of the new '70s-era B-movie-star mustache that he sported to the show. His unkempt beard in Castaway looked unattractive, but this takes the cake. You've Got To Be Kidding AwardAbout halfway through the awards show, an actor by the name of Paul Hogan came onstage to present an award. Hogan was in two Crocodile Dundee movies and is now in those Subaru Outback commercials. He will also be starring in Crocodile Dundee in L.A. Who ever would have thought that would happen? The toss-up for this award, of course, is whether the jokes are on us because of Hogan himself, or the prospect of another one of his films. No Matter How Well You Perform (You Will Never Win an Award) AwardPractically the Susan Lucci of the silver screen, John Cusack once again "got robbed" at this year's Golden Globes. After his nominated performance in High Fidelity was overlooked due to some kind of conspiracy theory, it appears as though Cusack will never receive the accolades he deserves for the many memorable characters he's brought to life. Perhaps the prize lies further down the road for this loveable loser, just like the women he wants in his films never want him until the very end. Did Anyone Else Notice This? AwardAs the cast of Sex in the City took the stage to receive its award for Best Comedy Series, one might have missed the orange-ish color of nominee Kim Cattrall's face. Runner up: Sting, because every time the camera panned to him, he was clapping with all of his fingers spread out like a 3-year-old child. And second runner-up goes to the actual TV awards this year. Did anyone notice awards for TV stars and shows? |