The Super Bowl Quiz

by Anthony Castrovince

INSTRUCTIONS: Before you watch the New York Giants-Baltimore Ravens match-up in Super Bowl XXXV on Jan. 28, the NFL recommends taking this quiz to prepare for the event:

1. Watching the Giants-Ravens match-up is recommended for:

A. Giants fans.

B. Ravens fans.

C. Insomniacs.

2. If the Ravens win the game, owner Art Modell promises to:

A. Increase the salaries of each player.

B. Extend coach Brian Billick's contract.

C. Move the team to New Foundland.

3. The day before Super Bowl XXXV, CBS will air "CBS Presents: MTV's Super Bowl Uncensored." This program will feature footage of:

A. Pre-game locker room speeches.

B. Exclusive interviews.

C. Ravens' linebacker Ray Lewis stabbing two men outside of a Super Bowl. party in Atlanta last year. (Editor's Note: Lewis was acquitted, but, then again, so was O.J. Simpson.)

4. If Lewis is named MVP, he will receive an all-expenses-paid vacation to:

A. San Diego.

B. San Tropez.

C. San Quentin.

5. The halftime entertainment will include:

A. Aerosmith performing "Sweet Emotion".

B. 'N Sync performing "Bye, Bye, Bye".

C. A drunken Modell performing "Who Let the Dogs Out".

6. One factor that could hurt the Giants' chances of winning is:

A. Running back Tiki Barber's broken arm.

B. Wide receiver Amani Toomer's injured ankle.

C. Quarterback Kerry Collins' alcoholism.

7. In the long line of legendary Super Bowl quarterbacks, New York's Collins and Baltimore's Trent Dilfer rank alongside:

A. Terry Bradshaw.

B. Joe Montana.

C. Mark Rypien.

8. The MVP of Super Bowl XXXV will receive:

A. A trophy.

B. A pay increase.

C. A guest spot on ••Temptation Island••.

9. With two top-notch defenses playing, the game will consist of:

A. 23 points.

B. 17 points.

C. Less scoring than a neutered tadpole.

10. The early line predicts a victory for:

A. Baltimore.

B. New York.

C. Who cares? We're only watching to see the premier of ••Survivor••.

ANSWERS: C, C, C, C, C, C, C, B, C, C

- Castrovince is a sophomore journalism major predicting a thrilling 5-3 Baltimore victory in overtime (extra innings?). Send him an e-mail at castrovince@yahoo.com.