If you do not muse, you lose

by Lauren Gross

As the saying goes, to get anything accomplished, you need one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration…or is it the other way around? Either way, it is important to do things by yourself, but it is also a pretty rad thing to have inspiration.

According to Classical Greek Mythology, there were nine female deities, each symbolizing an artistic stimulization of the intellect. As Muses, not only did they have groovy names, these saucy dames became the source of inspiration for many of the classical poets, artists, dramatists, etc. These goddesses were the daughters of Big Daddy Zeus, so it’s no wonder that they held such influence.

Terpischore was the Muse of dancing. She would enter the bodies of the laypeople and they would mystifyingly have the ability to dance. Terpischore lives on today, through the bodies of happy little Unionites, as they shake their booties at Danceable Solutions.

Euterpe has been deemed the “giver of pleasure” (wink, wink). Her name means “she who makes herself loved.” She is the Muse of Music, offering the gift of song with her flute. This one time, at band camp…

Melpomene was the Muse of Tragedy. She was the original inspiration for the playwright. From Oedipus to Hamlet to Obi-Wan Kenobi, she has been the impetus for our greatest tragic heroes.

Next in line, falls Calliope. She was the Muse of epic poetry and eloquence. She was the most honored and admired of the Muses. Though some (mainly I) would blame her for the results of Beowulf, she had a beautiful influence on Dr. Seuss.

Erato is the muse of love poetry. She’s one of those gals you love to hate. She was the most admired muse, but was later shafted when lovers refused to reciprocate. She was embodied in Francesco Petrarch’s Laura as well as Rick Springfield’s Jenny.

Polyhymnia was the “little bit of everything all wrapped into one” muse. She was the deity of oratory and sacred poetry, memory and knowledge, geometry, mime, meditation and agriculture. She was the Oprah of her time.

Clio was the muse of history. As George Santayana said, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” This means if it weren’t for dear Clio, the hairspray bangs, pegged pants, Macarena, and Parachute pants would be making their return.

Thalia is the muse of comedy. She is a silly carefree kinda chic, who inspired the slap -stick, goofball, and classic comedy genre. From Aristophanes to David Spade, Thalia has graced the comic with wit, humor and open idiocracy.

Finally we come to Urania, the muse of astronomy. She foretold the future by the position of the stars. A mythological Ms. Cleo, she did not have the fake accent and cheap commercials. She was a heavenly muse who just happened to have some psychic ability.

So there you have a brief lesson in Greek Mythology. The purpose of this is to show you that inspiration can come from anywhere, even from a bunch of ancient babes who still influence young artists today.

Everyone should have a muse; they make life worthwhile, and well, pretty darn fantastic. I owe a lot to the present-day muses in my life. They have pushed me into going the distance and working for what I want. They include my little brothers, the guy who sells me coffee, John Irving, professors, the Subway diet guy, friends and even the guy who pulls focus in filmmaking.

Everyone has their dreams, and muses are just a little kick in the butt to make them come true. Scout for your muse, they can be found in the most obvious places. They come in all shapes and sizes, be it the strength of Christopher Reeves to the trinket in a Cracker Jack box. They are designed to encourage, motivate, support and even excite. So go on out, and find your muse today, offer good while supplies last.