Loose Scripts Sink Ships

by Ben Grabow
Staff Writer

The attack on Pearl Harbor has been called two hours that changed the world. Pearl Harbor the movie turns out to be three hours that ruined an otherwise exciting and realistic treatment of the infamous surprise attack.

One cannot go to a hyped-up, WWII-era movie with trailers that scream "big sounds effects and lights" without expecting to draw comparisons to Saving Private Ryan. But the comparisons are there.

Private Ryan is a story of human dignity and true grit sandwiched between two bookend battle scenes. Pearl Harbor is a battle scene sandwiched between two, hour-long Disney love stories.

Flyboy Ben Affleck plays Rafe McCawley. Here Affleck stars in one of his most convincing roles yet, as his character is presumed dead for an hour of the movie. Affleck actually went to boot camp to research this role, but one wishes he had stayed there.

Rafe, his best friend Danny Walker (Josh Hartnett, The Virgin Suicides) and Evelyn Johnson (Kate Beckinsale, who swallows her British accent to play an American nurse) are part of a predictable and uninteresting love triangle that smothers an otherwise spectacular 45-minute Japanese bombardment.

The (obviously) high point of the movie, the bombing scene, suffers as a result of the previous hour’s romance to allow for the love story. And the PG-13 rating means a lot of explosions and screaming, but no real on-screen violence. The result is almost too clean — a sterile version begging for the Private Ryan treatment.

The movie also stars Cuba Gooding, Jr. as Doris 'Dorie' Miller, who is one of the movie’s weak attempts to diversify the cast. Hardly a realistic, cultural melting pot, the Japanese yell a lot and always seem to speak in haiku. Pearl Harbor’s Polynesian population gets about one second of screen time.

Alec Baldwin, as the movie’s fountain of patriotism, portrays Col. Doolittle, who is leader of the first bombing raid on Tokyo and one-man schmaltz machine. For every disgustingly patriotic and clichéd line each character utters in this movie, Col. Doolittle has three.

Look for a cameo by Dan Aykroyd, a somewhat metaphorical — if not slightly disturbing — Coca Cola ad and a well-hidden Jon Voight as the wheelchair-bound and dramatic FDR.

Like two movies lazily joined together, Pearl Harbor struggles to balance will-it-ever-end romance with some exciting (and loud) dive-bombing, explosions and dogfights. In the end, it fails its mission.

In all, it’s a combination of popcorn-spilling action, newsreel history lessons, warm and fuzzy pre-summer patriotism and yet another Affleck afflicted role.