Titillating end-of-the-quarter stimulation

by Aaron Reincheld

My heart raced as she handed me the syllabus. Wow, I've never seen anything like that before. Gasping for air, I tried to listen to the prof explain everything, but I couldn't concentrate. My mind was reeling with the possibilities.

Nothing could have prepared me for this. I was in over my head, but I had to think quick and decide a plan of attack. I asked my friends what I should do, but they were no help. None of them had ever been in a situation like this.

I got her phone number and called for a study session the second week of class. I was nervous calling, but I had to do it. My hands were sweaty, my face was red and she could tell from my voice I was unsure. She helped answer some of my questions and told me about a get-together. I saw my chance.

A couple of my friends went with me and I talked to a few people, but my mind was set on doing it right. She was busy, and I left after I saw there was no talking to her that night.

Things were going better and I felt more confident, but I was still scared. One time, she came over and I could feel my pants getting hot - oh no! My coffee spilled in my lap! I was so focused on what she was saying I didn't even notice it fell.

Half way through the quarter was my first chance to shine. I really tried hard and worked up a sweat. I think she was pleased with the result.

After a few weeks, we progressed to group activity. Some people were better than others, but I didn't get the same sense of satisfaction afterwards.

We didn't talk to each other for a while after that and doubt settled in. I was starting to get worried again because I knew another test was looming.

Finally, after a long period of teasing and all my hard work, the time and date were set and I knew I was about to perform again. I had done it before; it wasn't a new experience. I just get nervous every time. Despite all the preparation in the world, you never know how it's going to turn out.

This was it - the climax of all my efforts. It was time for the final (I know, how lame).

It's not that the end of the quarter isn't exciting enough, I just thought it needed a little spicing up.

Soon enough, like during the long van-ride home with the parents, finals will be a distant memory, and all you'll be able to think about is candy canes and the proof of the eggnog at Grandma's house this year.

This is the last week for a while that most people still can be part-time students and full-time alcoholics. Next week starts a month of family, annoying high school friends and returning to jobs you hate.

Stuffing yourself with turkey, potatoes, corn and pie that you can eat away at the misery of Fall Quarter by gaining 10 pounds. Before you know it, your 42 days of gluttony and employment will be over as you return to lonely Athens, only to find that it was reclaimed by town folk.

Making rent money is important but so is making the most of the break. It's a long time till June, and there are few university holidays between New Years and the fourth of July.

So remember while you're home taking everything back to join the university by celebrating Columbus Day on the day after Thanksgiving and Presidents Day on the day after Christmas.

Just make sure to be the first to get to the mail so you can grab your grade card if you don't want your parents taking your presents back for you.

Good luck with finals and thanks for reading this quarter. Drop Reincheld a line at ar228699.