Dating do's and dont's for the socially impaired

by Cheryl Daen

SAN DIEGO - "It was one of the worst dates I've ever been on!" "Not only did he have bad breath, he wouldn't quit talking about himself!"

You men all dread this type of negative feedback from us ladies after a first date. Comments like these definitely can knock down any man's confidence when prepping to ask a girl out for a second date.

So how is a guy supposed to impress the woman of the new millennium?

It may even be easier than you think. You may have just overlooked a few things on which we ladies grade you beefcakes. I'd like to offer a few suggestions for you baffled males, whose dating "batting average" has kicked you down to the farm team.

1. Punctuality is a must. By being on time, if not a few minutes early, you'll show how meaningful this date is to you.

2. Never show up empty handed. Romance is a great way to jump-start that first date. No need to invest in a dozen roses, unless of course you can afford it! Even if you've just plucked a simple flower from your backyard, the thought definitely will make an effective first impression.

3. Don't forget to compliment your date. Whether it's how great she looks, how her hair shines, how sweet she smells, or on her choice of wardrobe, make sure it's sincere. Even if she dismisses it as a line, she will still appreciate it.

4. Always remember to open doors and pull out chairs. Chivalry is rare in this day and age, but still widely respected. Yes, we females are extremely capable of opening our own doors and pulling out our own chairs at the dinner table. By at least offering to do these things for your date, she'll notice how well you were raised.

5. Don't forget to clean your car, inside and out. I've heard many complaints about how well polished a male's method of transportation initially appeared on the outside, only to be upstaged by last week's laundry and dinner leftovers. Remember the inside of your car may also be a reflection of what your room looks like, so you may want to paint a good picture for future reference. (As a side note, your personal hygiene can also determine the fate of the first date.)

6. Be selective about the jokes you make and the stories you tell. If you don't know your date well, you don't want to offend her.

7. Never bring up past relationships – and don't ask your date about hers. No one wants to hear about your excess baggage and hang-ups.

8. Assuming this is a dinner date, do not place her order for her. Remember, she is capable of making her own decisions. After all, she did decide to go out with you.

9. Table manners will make you or break you. Put the napkin on your lap and chew with your mouth closed. Do not dominate conversation at the dinner table with your list of achievements. Play humble – and if she really digs you she will ask you about what makes you so special. Most importantly, save the burping contests for the homies.

10. Assuming this is also a movie date, don't try anything funny. No yawning and stretching your arm around your date without her consent. Oh, and save the sweet talk for after the movie. Nobody likes a bugaboo while they're wrapped up in the plot.

11. Always offer to pick up the entire tab. Whether it's dinner, a movie or both, if she is girlfriend material, she'll offer to do the same – or at least offer to split the tab.

12. At the end of the date, walk her to the front door! Let her know you enjoyed her company and thank her for spending her valuable time with you. Ask -- don't assume -- if you can call her again. God forgive the dork who drops off his date, drives off and doesn't even bother to make sure she makes it safely into her house!

13. And finally, never assume you deserve a kiss goodnight. She doesn't owe you a thing – even if you did end up picking up the tab!

Well, there you have it. A few pointers for those lost souls who seem to have been striking out the last few times at bat.

Am I old-fashioned on this subject? Maybe so. But I believe a touch of "old-fashioned" sentiment is a good thing every now and then.

I don't profess to be an expert on this subject. I am merely relaying the complaints I've heard most from girls who've endured bad dates. In no way do I guarantee you'll win over the lady of your dreams, but should you get the chance to go out with her – who knows? These simple rules may at least get your foot in the door to that loving relationship.